I feel so unmotivated. I’m so bored of doing nothing. Especially after being on tour and going to Barcelona. To go back, again, to such an expanse of nothing, and potentially nothing, waiting for ambiguous things, doing nothing of import or creative/proactive enjoyment, is awful. Sure, I’m writing, and that’s the one small thing I am doing that is worthwhile and exciting, but spending the rest of every single day just eating and sitting around is getting so fucking dull, and it doesn’t help to inspire. And writing isn’t something you can do always, and it’s not something you can do well always, and it’s not something that happens often when you do nothing but sit around your parents’ house all day. I need something else, something new, something to happen, but I’m so unmotivated that the most I can do is just sit here and think/type about it, and do nothing about it. And anything that I’m promised or at least hopeful for that will change it is either so uncertain and far away, or is taken away or waved in my face ambiguously and teasingly before it just dies and falls away.